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Sassy the Sasquatch
"Whadiyatalkinabeet?"' '' -Sassy's catchphrase.. '''Sassy the Sasquatch, commonly known as just 'Sassy' is one of the main characters in The Big Lez Show. He is Lez's best friend and next door neighbour. Sassy lives and hangs out with a group of three other Sasquatches - Donny, Wayne-O, and Scruffy - as well as Owly and reside in a run down house next door to Lez. One of Sassy's defining character traits is his ability to take excessive amounts of drugs without being injured or dying as a result. He is shown as being constantly high, whilst accusing other characters around him for being 'druggos' in the meantime. Sassy Foods Sassy Foods is a home company created by Sassy the Sasquatch to make money in small portions. His food consists of stuff such as drugs and petrol. His most famous food product is the Trippa Snippa, which consists of speed, weed, heroin, cocaine, mushrooms, pine-o-clean, petrol, battery acid, acid, salvia, methamphetamines, multiple brands of herbs and spices, lettuce, tomato, vodka sauce, bam-and-the-dirt-is-gone, Ajax spray and wipe, chicken and cheese all wrapped in a tortilla. He also has a drink that he sold at the Never Land club, it consisted of vodka, scotch, lemonade, coke, two shots of three year old petrol from a lawnmower, small portions of heroin dust, glow in the dark mushrooms, dissolved acid strips, and a squeeze o' lemon. "Just about enough to knock out every single animal in The Lion King movie." The drink is deadly enough to kill humans, and even bad enough to give Lez a slight burning in his heart, lungs, brain, kidneys, liver, the bottom of his feet and his eyeballs. 'Season 1' Sassy began the show as Lez's neighbour in a small part of Brown Town. He is first shown smoking a bong in his unkempt lawn. During Season 1, Sassy was one of the most outgoing characters, inventing and founding his home made food company, finding a plane outside of a Coles and ripping the Volcano Bong. This was also when his catch phrase "wadiyatalkinabeet" was used for the first time, and now continues to be used in every episode. Choomah Island Lez is asked by Sassy if he wants to go for a ride around the pacific ocean with him and Donny in a red plane they 'Found outside a coles', Lez enthusiastically agrees. While flying over an island Lez asks Sassy if they have enough fuel to get back home. Sassy says they should be fine as long as Donny "Didn't snort all the fuckin petrol" Sassy gets stranded on Choomah Island along with Lez and Donny when their plane crashed on the island. Donny and Sassy set up a post crash campsite after getting separated from Lez. Lez soon finds them and gets pissed off at them because they are stranded on the island and don't know how serious the situation is. Sassy and Donny get separated from Lez again when they see a massive choomah, Sassy says "fuckin run boys". After ditching Lez again, Sassy and Donny stay on the beach and smoke marijuana from a pipe until they meet up with Mike Nolan, who was also stranded on the island. Clarence then arrives in his boat but is then clotheslined by a terrified Lez. Sassy and the others jump into his boat and leave Clarence behind. Season 2 He first appears in the opening episode, being one of the characters helping Lez break down the show's sign to begin the episode, being unaware that it was a locked door like the rest of the characters. Sassy later appears in the episode speaking to Lez about Norton's upcoming birthday party and the fact Lez wasn't invited. When Lez asks if Sassy got an invite, Sassy reveals he did but merely responds with his famous phrase when asked if he will go. Sassy appears in the Trippa Snippa, the episode named after his Trippa Snippa sandwich. He shows Lez his new food business and offers him a Trippa Snippa. Lez enjoys the sandwich but when Sassy tells him why he called it the Trippa Snippa, Lez demands to know what's in it. Sassy responds by saying "Oh you know, the ushe... speed, weed, heroin, cocaine, mushrooms, pine-o-clean, petrol, battery acid, acid, salvia, meth, some herbs and spices, and some lettuce and tomato, vodka sauce, Bam-and-the-dirt-is-gone, Ajax spray and wipe, some chicken and cheese all wrapped in a tortilla." Sassy doesn't realise Lez is losing his grip on reality and only notices when he collapses. He is with Lez when he wakes up, to inform him was was out for 11 days, the episode ends as Sassy comments that Lez looks hungry, and he begins cooking him up 'a feed'. Sassy later is seen at the pokies with Donny, around the same time as Lez and Mike Nolan. Sassy advises Lez to play the game next to himself. Lez agrees and puts in $20. However, Sassy presses the '$20' button before Lez can stop him, which results in Lez winning the $100,000,000 prize. Sassy is later being interviewed in an interrogation room by the Policeman of Brown Town. Sassy tells him about the story before his arrest: Him, Donny, Wayne-o, Owly and Scruffy were heading up to a theme park up the coast but Scruffy forgot his shoes. The day after that, they went this time to a waterpark and took the piss out of Scruffy because this time, he DID bring his shoes. Scruffy threw the shoes out the window which hit the Policeman of Brown Town's front windscreen and smashing it. This lead to the Policeman finding 'every drug under the planet' and a firearm in the back of Sassy's car. Sassy hardly tries to defend himself when questioned and the gang are sent straight to prison, except for Donny, who legs it before he's arrested. Sassy and the boys are joined in prison by Lez, who was sent under charges of assault by Norton for ruining his birthday and smashing up most of his house. Lez is briefly annoyed at Sassy, having learned from a picture in Norton's house that he was hanging out with Norton on Choomah Island. Sassy explains that Donny and him were out looking for Lez when they heard a party in the distance and happily joined it. Later on, Sassy is talking with Lez when Lez meets Sergio Warnington, Ellis Warnington's cousin, and the reveal that Clarence is still alive. Sassy gives Lez a flashback drug to help him remember what Clarence said to him in the Neverland Night Club about going to Choomah Island, three weeks before Lez would eventually go with Sassy and Donny to the Island. However, Lez merely remembers Sassy giving him a drugged drink that caused him to bleed, feel ill, have cold sweats, vomit, and for a few minutes see everything in the form of an Anime cartoon. Later on, he smokes marijuana out of a Saxophone whilst Donny snorts cocaine through a flute. Sassy also gives Lez water that is also drugged and ends up with Lez on top of the Q1 tower in Surfer's Paradise in a Scooby-Doo ride cart. When Lez stops tripping, Sassy merely laughs at Lez's experience. However, all four of them are shocked by an enormous Choomah crashing through the walls and attacking the prison. Sassy, Lez, the Sasquatches, Owly, Sergio and Clarence escape through the hole in the prison wall and are rescued by Warning Guy, who drives them away in a ute. Sassy is oblivious about the Choomah attack and is more interested in the fact that a giant blue caterpillar came down from the sky and winked at him before giving him a glass of Apple juice and some Mac 'n' Cheese., noting that 'today was a good day'. Warning Guy drives them all to the Volcano Bong, inside an actual volcano. Lez's spaceship is inside but without fuel. Sassy starts eating a Trippa Snippa and texting Jessica Alba. Lez then watches as a drop of Trippa Snippa juice drops into the fuel tank and creates a quick spark. Sassy drops the whole wrap in and the fuel meter goes up by a large fraction. Lez then realises that Sassy's Trippa Snippas can fuel the spaceship, so they bring his Sassy Food's cart along with them. Sassy, Warning Guy and Donny join Lez whilst the others, led by Sergio, defend the city. They take off into space, but not before insulting Clarence on his appearance and 'gay sweater'. Lez is excited to be in space again, noting he feels like he's in Star Wars. Sassy jokes along, saying that he can be 'the gold guy' R2-D2. Donny hassles him for not knowing his Star Wars character, then Warning Guy says he's most likely to be a 'pot smoking Chewbacca'. The four arrive at Kingdom Cum, only to find it destroyed. Lez is incredibly upset, and then things get worse when they realise they are out of fuel. Lez activates Hyper Space, and they zoom back at the speed of light to Earth. However, upon entering the atmosphere, they are attacked by a Choomah. The Choomah pulls the engine apart but then Lez shoots in the face with a shotgun. They crash-land on Earth, just outside Brown Town as the battle against the Choomahs rages on. Sassy participates in the Battle of Brown Town. Using his Sassy Foods cart, he sells Trippa Snippas to the Choomah army, served with extra fillings of the most lethal ingredients; "Now with less snipping and more tripping." This causes their heads to explode and kill them. Sassy saves Warning Guy from a pack of Choomahs, along with help from Sergio, Donny, Scruffy, Wayne-o and Owly. After saving him, Warning Guy asks why they were in prison, and Sassy and the gang make up ridiculous reasons for being arrested, even Donny, who wasn't even in prison. They all agree to escape to the top of a pink building to await rescue whilst Clarence distracts the Choomahs on another building. The group meets up with Lez, who is in the middle of chasing Cecil the Sasquatch, commander the Choomah army. Sassy watches as Clarence convinces the Choomahs to leave in peace and as Mike Nolan returns in a helicopter to fly them to safety. Mike is incredibly stoned and Sassy notes he's almost at the level where he starts seeing stuff, and that he sees stuff all time. At this moment, the Blue Caterpillar returns, winks at Sassy and once again gives him Apple juice with Mac 'n' Cheese. Sassy and Lez end the episode and season sitting in camp chairs out on Lez's front lawn, chilling out with a bong and getting ready for the 'real story'. 'Season 3' Sassy in the early parts of Season 3 is seen as laid back, putting his new satellite dish on top of his house. He later uses Clarence's winning scratchy to roll a joint, thereby depriving the "ophans" of much needed secular funding. Sassy has most recently been seen espousing his views on the global conspiracy surrounding the legalization of cannabis, and introducing Quinton to marijuana. Later Sassy is seen with Lez, Mike Nolan and Donny in Lez's basement looking at Lez's new panorama Glennworld, which Sassy and the others think is 'sick'. Sassy then asks why Lez isn't doing any 'skits shit' anymore and try to convince him to go another adventure Lez is reluctant at firs but then suggests they go back to Choomah Island and go kill some Choomahs, which Sassy, Donny and Nolezy all agree eagerly. Sassy then says that they will bring 'So many drugs' this time, which Donny eagerly agrees. Lez then says he will speak to Clarence to figure out the grand plan and then they will go. Sassy, Donny, Lez and Nolezy then get high and play with Glennworld. Choomah Island 2 At around six o'clock in the morning, Lez and Donny arrive at the Brown Town beach pier and meet with Sassy, Wayne-O, Scruffy, Owly, Nolan and Clarence with the gang's new seaplane - which they apparently stole from a high-tech military base off the coast of Puerto Rica. Sassy is seemingly oblivious to the fact they're going to Choomah Island, and expresses that he thought they were 'just going camping,' as well as denying any knowledge of the conversation Lez, Donny and Nolan had in Lez's basement whilst playing with Glenworld, or any knowledge of Glenworld's existence. After a brief conversation on turning rubbish into fuel, Sassy charges the last few tokes of the joint, dubbed by the boys as the 'Stinging Rodger.' As Sassy smokes it, he burns his fingers to the amusement of everyone else. As they take off and listen to Lez's explaination of his hatred towards Norton and debate his apparent homosexuality, Donny begins handing out some bucket hats. Sassy is unfortunately given the last one; an bright orange bucket hat with googly eyes on it. Sassy complains about how he'll be spotted due to it's obnoxious appearance and that he'll be an easy target, considering he also forgot to ask for a gun. As they skydive from the plane, Sassy is extremely calm and skydives with his hands behind his head and feet crossed, almost as if he is relaxing in the danger. Nevertheless, everyone safely lands and Sassy and Lez discuss the route for finding the Choomah island. After the conversation, Sassy gives Lez a joint for a time when the latter will find himself 'lost' and be found if he smokes it, though Sassy warns Lez that 'once he opens the door and walks through it, he can never go back.' Let takes it under consideration and the group begin their bush walk across the island. After an unknown amount of time, Donny spots a large quantity of fresh psychedelic mushrooms, and Sassy plucks the largest bunch from the ground. Sassy and Donny inform Lez that the shrooms will heighten their sense, even ones most people don't even know they have, and Lez happily proclaims he'll trip out with them, much to Sassy's surprised delight. During the group's trip, Sassy plays Marco Polo with Donny, magically appearing in the clouds and sun, having a conversation about the psychedelic Beatles movie, 'Yellow Submarine', and even defending Clarence when he gets hassled by Wayne-O for wanting to move onto the Choomah hive. Later on at night time, Sassy is the first to remember that they're on Choomah Island, which startles the group and they agree to set up camp quickly. Nolan asks where Lez has disappeared to, and Sassy remarks he's 'probably gone to hang a bush poo or something.' As the others set up camp, Sassy and Donny watch over the landscape and ponder waiting for Lez, though Sassy remarks that if Lez doesn't return in 15 minutes, he'll go to bed. Episode Appearances Season 1 #The Flowers (debut) #The Volcano Bong #Meet Mike Nolan #The Cliff Hanger (cameo) #The Brutal Truth (cameo) #Choomah Island Season 2 #They're Back #The Trippa Snippa #Where's the Gold? #Birthday Bash (photo) #Busted #Life in the Can #Never Again Land #Goin Back #Attack of the Choomahs: Part 1 #Attack of the Choomahs: Part 2 Season 3 #Skits Roof Hangs #Yeah, Nah Mate (photo) #Ahow #Popcoin #Yoweed #Bindis #Lez's Secret Revealed #Potadohead #Choomah Island 2 Season 4 # I'm On A Skits Mission # Plac-Key # Vinally # Word From The King # Choomah Island 3: Denouement (trailer here) Category:Characters Category:Season 1 Characters Category:Season 2 Characters Category:Season 3 Characters Category:Sasquatches